


Komorebi

by BitterTail



Category: Original Work
Genre: Agender Character, Body Dysphoria, Body Image, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, FTM, FTM Original Character, Fantasy, First Meetings, First Time, Fluff, Japanese Mythology & Folklore, Kin goes by Male and is Masc but he is a god gender means nothing to him, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Trans Male Character, Urban Fantasy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 10:07:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6466171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BitterTail/pseuds/BitterTail
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Saikiko is ten years old when a Divine Qilin saves her from assault. Although, when she wakes up the golden creature is nowhere in sight replaced by a beautiful man who says he is only there to help her father around his temple, but she knows better. This man is the same Qilin that saved her. Eventual FTM Trans character, mxm, Slash and M Rating. A story of Culture, Identity and Love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Birth of a Qilin

_Its been so long since I wrote something so if this is very sloppy and bad I'm sorry, I'm a little rusty! But I wanted something to work on in my spare time, But it's nice to write again :)_  
  
I'm going to put a small warning to attempted sexual assault in case anyone is sensitive to that. Nothing too bad happens but I know how some people feel about that!

* * *

**_Komorebi_** (木漏れ日) _-_ _sunshine filtering through the leaves of a tree_

In modern days the faith and belief of gods and their spiritual powers slowly started to dwindle. Technology and the growing of cities made it more of a inconvenience to devote so much time and effort into your spirituality. Although it still existed in more fast informal means didn't mean it didn't cause some strain between the spirits and human kind.

Deep in a mountain surrounded valley laid a city that was the clear split between both mentalities. It was a prospering place full of economic future and good schools for the younger generations. But it was very, very much split.

Literally a river split two halves of the city leaving the eastern district full of modern day buildings and life, the hustle and bustle of cars and men and woman going about their lives. The other half, the western side was more humble, still stretching wide with farmland and those still grounded by their roots of living in traditional style homes with soft feet worn wooden floors and gardens full of veggies. That didn't mean that the spread of telephone wires or internet and television didn't make its way here as well but it was a simpler life for those too stressed by the modern world.

A small but friendly temple lay just up a forest path seen right from the bridge that connected each half, the literal core and center. It was run for generations of the same family and was one of the best temples around...although now it was only occupied by an aging father and his young ten year old daughter Saikiko.

Although the older man tried his best to teach her and help her prepare for when she would take over the temple herself it was hard to keep her adventurous heart from wanting to move past the old times. She was young but passionate, a fiery temper to her when she wanted, but her inner core was strong and righteous.

She wanted the freedom to explore the world for herself, not be dictated by her father. Yes the whole generations thing always sat heavy in her heart. And she did love the temple but...She was young! She didn't want her life to be planned for her so early.

One day as she often did she would be the one to run down into the city to take care of chores because her father was often sick and bed ridden. This day however was a little different and she got distracted wandering the streets, her exploitative side pushing her further and before she knew it the sun was starting to settle along the horizon. Saikiko flushed a little as she realized the time and started trotting back home clutching the small bag of things she bought for her father.

It wasn't long until she was visited with a stranger behind her. She swallowed a little bit and tried to subtly look behind her a spike of nerves running through her. It was getting darker and although the street lights were starting to buzz on she was nervous, trying not think right away to the worst...there was people around all the time the man could just be walking and happen to be going in her direction right?

She had never been out this late it could just be a small spike of fear making her think the worst. Although her fears started to be realized as soon as she took the corner to the bridge separating modern and urban she knew he was following her. Not many people lived on her side of the river. With her fathers involvement in the small community she knew every person. She didn't recognize this man from the corners of her eyes and she knew suddenly she should have stayed in a more populated area...called her dad or something. The family down the road from the temple had a phone she knew the number of. They even had a car and would have been more then happy to pick her up.

Trying not to let nerves get the best of her she was about half way across the bridge when she finally looked back and the older man made his move. Even though she had her eyes on him she was still not prepared for him to dark forward, slamming her to the ground and she felt the blood rush to her head with the momentum. For a few moments she had the breath knocked out of her, the hard wood she slammed into having crushed her lungs. Finally blinking her first reaction was to scream and kick.

The man above her roughly shoved her to her back placing a large hand over her mouth. Her screaming cut short for a brief moment however, That fiery spirit that Saikiko had in her fraught back and she bit down into one of his fingers until blood stung her tongue and he growled in pain slapping her to a stunned silence. Pressing a knife that flashed in the full moon to her throat. She resisted swallowing scared the single moment would cut her raw from how tight the blade was already against her pale skin.

Short scared puffs of air escaped her, dark eyes were wide and wet, she felt a shift and in that moment she knew her fate, either to die on the bridge to be thrown into the river never to be seen again. Or those hawk like hand circling above her and pressing closer and closer to her chest would be her undoing. She was frantic looking everywhere at once, trying to get a good look at her assailant's face or for a means of escape.

She was going to swallow back her fear for another moment to cry out hoping someone else was close by or out tonight that would hear her.

A sudden white hot flash of fire burned her night adjusted eyes and she squeezed them shut, the feeling of hot air surrounding her and blowing dark strands of hair around her face. She shivered and although she was terrified and confused the sound of the man above her screaming in pain and the weight lifting off her was relief. Balling up into a scared pile she kept her eyes closed fearing the same fate of whatever was happening.

A tinkle of wind chimes brought her back to reality and he squinted her eyes open large heaves of her chest making her dizzy, maybe she was hyperventilating or dying but when she opened her eyes the sight made her lose that precious air once again.

Standing before her was a onyx figure, it looked liked either a deer or a horse, scaled with shimmering black scales, each one edged with gold. His head was like that of a dragon and horned in a similar gold, each on glinting in the moon's soft caress. His eyes were staring at her, a fire inside them and the color of molten hot gold. However they were soft and she could read so much compassion and love. She was breathless watching as the divine creature seemed to shift constantly Each hair on his mane shined like golden thread and wafted around blown by a breeze just reserved for the creature.

Swaying his long tail he approached, the clicks of his hooves twinkling like bells and he took in a deep breath. For a moment Saikiko fret that she was going to have the same fate as the man she could see off in the sidelines. Not that she pitied him one bit. The creature let loose his breath an it was hot comforting air around her blowing her hair around once again. She shivered at that warmth, not realizing the sting in her eyes was tears.

There was a scared divine Qilin before her and he had saved her form a fate worse then death.

Everything caught up to her at once and the emotion slowly pulsed through her like a trickle then suddenly it was a raging river like the one below her. The fear and realization of the darkness in the world made her shiver and the tears gather bigger and bigger and then they burst and rolled down her cheeks, a weep shaking her. Lunging forward to the beast she wrapped her arms around the Qilin' neck sobbing into the velvet soft belly scales.

Bells tinkled again as he bent his head down and rested his chin on her back, his breath tickling the hair on the back of her neck. She held on dearly fingers digging into the thick mane. The creature just jingled again like wind chimes and the sound comforted her, making her think of hot summer days sitting on the temple steps with watermelon sicking to her chin and fingers.

Sakiko didn't know how long she cried but eventually she came back to herself shivering in the after shocks. Everything settled like ice crystals in her veins.

"Y-you saved me." She wailed hiccups and sobs still racking through her tiny body. Sniffling she pulled back enough to make direct eye contact with the divine Qilin shivering as his glowing eyes were full of understanding.

He didn't say anything and oddly she didn't know why she thought that he would but bells chimed and this time it sounded like the familiar sound of her temples bells. Wiping the last few tears from her eyes she realized she was exhausted and felt heavy. Hooves clicked on the wooden bridge once more and he stood up to his full height, he must have laid down to comfort her more fully and she never realized. Seeing him at his full height was breath taking, everything shining once more in the light. A silhouetted halo around his dark body.

Tenderly he took the back of her shirt into his fanged mouth lifting her up with ease onto his back, guided with a layer of hot air so she wouldn't be uncomfortable. He started walking toward the path leading upwards to her temple home. He took clear care in only stepping on the stone path leading upwards.

Saikiko was in disbelief that a Qilin saved her...but thankful maybe her fathers prayers were finally answered...he gods send them one of their own to protect. And although he had only so far appeared to her...she was glad and wrapped her arms around his study neck watching wordlessly, as his soft fur flowed around her.

The clicking of the holy creatures hooves on stone and the twinkle of the sweetest bells lulled her to sleep on his back, warmed by his inner fire.

When she awoke she was back in her bedroom in her own futon the blankets wrapped tightly around her and with bleary eyes she wondered if it was a dream. Although she heard the distant mumble in the other room, looking over she noticed her father wasn't in his bed. Crawling forward she slide open one of the paper paneled doors peeking in the main chamber of the temple.

She was shocked to see her father talking to a strange man she never seen before, bowing to him deeply and she could tell right away he was upset. Her fathers face stiff and a small amount of concern and fear making their way forward.

"T-thank you for saving my daughter" He stammered bowing again, forehead touching to the floor, the greatest form of gratitude shown.

"Its no worry I was on my way toward your temple anyways." The stranger purred and in an instant even if it wasn't his usual voice Saikiko realized it was the creature that saved her...but...she was confused there was a man now in dark robes and not a Qilin...did she make up everything in her head? Had it really been this man instead.

Seeming to know they were being watched the beautiful man shivered, robes chiming with bells.

"Ah my dear your awake." He smiled and flicked his honey eyes toward Saikiko's father who turned quickly standing and approaching his daughter. Saikiko winced because she knew she was going to be scolded for being out so late, for being stupid enough to get assaulted. Tears started swimming forth again and she yelped in surprise when instead of scolding her he wrapped his arms around her tightly. She shivered and hugged her father back feeling how stiff and scared he was.

She realized that he was scared he almost lost her.

She sighed heavily letting more tears fall as she drew mutual comfort from her father. Eventually she opened her eyes and glanced back at the man...Qilin who smiled softly at them both his delicate hands folded in his lap.


	2. Happy Birthday

As it turned out, Saikiko's father really did call in as many favors as he could for the beautiful man to appear before them. He had asked for a holy man to come and help around the temple being that he was ill enough he couldn't do many of the chores anymore, and he thought it was unfair to bog down his ten year old daughter with such duties by herself at a young age.

She should have found this a blessing, There was someone else to shoulder on the struggles, but at the same time she couldn't get those gold eyes out of her head. She knew his secret but nobody believed her.

"You were just frightened" Her father would drone before scolding her softly for bothering Kin once again about his appearance.

That was the name that the other went by never giving his surname once but just asking to be called by a nickname his mother had given him. Saikiko thought it was rather mischievous the older man would so obviously call himself after something his Qilin form featured heavily. But...she would also admit it fit far too well.

When she had time alone she constantly bothered the tall man about that night, but he never said anything just smiled and shrugged, the bells in his clothing chiming softly. Eventually Saikiko started believing that what she saw may have been a hallucination born from her fear...but. At night her dreams were plagued by midnight scales and golden tufts of fur blowing around her.

Slowly with seasons past she started to grow up more and more into the woman her mother used to be...it made her slightly sick to think about. Kin was a consent reminder in her life but she was fond of his presence. Seeing him sitting out in the gardens by the koi ponds or blessing one of the shrines statues with incense gave her peace at heart.

The peace could only last so long. Saikiko was turning 13 today and every moment of the celebration was giving her the chills. Her father congratulated her at breakfast for becoming a lovely woman. The thought made her flush and swallow, petite hands slowly reaching up to brush out her long black hair out with her mothers comb.

"I'm I really becoming a woman?" She asked still downtrodden about it and even more so when she caught the look her father laid upon her.

"Of course...you've matured, 13 is a very special age for young girls." He smiled with mirth and Saikiko could tell that he was about to crack a joke about her pretty looks before he paused...the moment ruined completely.

After the incident on the bridge he stopped cracking teasing jokes about how her mothers looks was going to attract boys he would have to beat off with a kendo stick. That was no longer an appropriate saying between them. He had made that mistake a few months afterwards and she burst into tears.

She knew her father also blamed himself...he wasn't there to protect his daughter and had to rely on the protection of a stranger. Almost as if called for by name Kin wandered into the dining room and resumed his usual spot slowly dragging his eyes between the two family members and catching onto the thick tension.

"Isn't it your birthday Saikiko?" He asked as he leaned back more pulling his bowl of rice up to his mouth to eat. He had stayed clear of the fresh river trout like usual. Kin never eat meat of any kind, usually sticking to rice and vegetables.

Saikiko paused and heaved a sigh placing the comb on the table and frowning once more as she brushed her hair back into a thick long pony tail.

"Ya, it seems to be today huh?" He rose her eyebrows and leaned over to nudge at the holy man. "You plan anything for me? I know father is probably going to make it a huge deal!" She huffed fiery temper coming back.

Her father didn't take to her mood kindly one bit. "Of course I'm making it a big deal! You are 13, the woman who live down the road even made you a proper kimono to celebrate." The words kimono fell from his mouth and sunk down into Saikiko's stomach.

"I don't want to wear it." She quipped quickly standing up from the table and slamming her hands on the table. There was a small rule to her ever since she was a baby she refused to wear dresses and skirts and even now as she grew up and after her mother passed away she refused it even more.

At the time her father was fine with it letting her wear her t-shirts and slacks. It didn't matter much to him she was young, but today he was putting his foot down.

"You will! Its about time you acted like a proper woman!" He shouted but it reduced him to a wheeze coughing into his arm. Saikiko was about to protest further but a soft hand touched her wrist and she whipped her face to look at it, trailing the hand up to Kin's arm and eventually to his face.

He was calm and neutral about all of this but as soon as his soft eyes reached her's already brimming with emotion and hidden anger. He cocked his head to her fathers direction and she followed his glaze. Eventually the sparks simmered to a dull coal and she sat back down.

"I'll try." She eventually managed voice soft and broken.

The rest of the day was torture all she wanted to do was go into the actual city and do some sight seeing and she told her father that but he spoke heatedly about how he didn't want her alone in the city...she argued back that she wouldn't be alone but dropped it soon after knowing her father wouldn't take the long walk into town...she could go with Kin but she didn't want to be a bother to him. So she went along with her fathers plans for her birthday. They walked down to the little old ladies home and she was embarrassingly fitted for that dreaded kimono.

She was taken to a back room with one of the woman, although she knew her and even called her grandma when she was younger there was still a fierce shame when she was stripped so that alterations could be put into the kimono. Staring at her body in the full length mirror stirred her in a horrible means and she found herself shivering even more trying to hold back the tears threatening to spill. She hated this body...she hated the soft curves and how her hips were starting to widen, her nipples everything. Puberty was doing its worst and she was mortified.

The older woman patted her back and commented about how lovely she was becoming, and it broke every last damn and wall Saikiko had built upon herself. Tears streaked and she hiccuped sadly, knowing the woman's face was suddenly filled with concern pulling her head up to look into her watery eyes.

"Dear whats wrong." She asked smoothing the water from her cheeks and petting her hair straight.

Saikiko made a frustrated face and brushed the older woman's hand away from her. "I-I'm Awful, this is all awful!" He moaned covering her arms over her chest and frowning. "Its...ugly." As soon as the word ugly came out of her mouth the woman gasped and shook her head.

"You are beautiful! Your becoming a lovely young woman." She gushed knowing how hard it was to be a woman herself, how body issues surfaced at such an age. Saikiko just kept shaking her head but didn't explain it knowing that saying her privates were ugly for being...there wouldn't make sense in her old views.

It barely made sense to herself honestly, she just knew it felt wrong...weird.

"Lets get you dressed dear and you'll feel beautiful I promise" There was an motherly smile that make Saikiko feel even more sick to her stomach but she nodded anyways rubbing at her eyes and attempting a fake smile back. Her own heart was weeping in pain but it would hurt more thinking she disappointed an old woman's attempts to make her feel better.

"Thanks..." She mumbled even if her eyes were dead as the fabric was draped over her. The Obi pulled so tight it felt like it was crushing her lungs.

The design was at least nice a dark blood red with that classic fish scale pattern and it reminded her of the Qilin she saw long ago. She thought it would make a nice jacket or something but as a dress it made her feel disgusting.

After being dressed like a nice pretty doll she was shown off to her waiting father and Kin. At least the joy on her fathers face gave her a slight moment of peace...she didn't mind as long as he was happy. She understood how sick he was...why let his last few years be unhappy with his daughter for rebelling? It was a glum, depressing thought but she knew that it was bound to happen...the gods blessed them with a protector in the form of a holy man but it wouldn't save her father from his sickness.

Allowing a small smile she lied through her teeth. "Thank you, I love it...Doesn't it look good?" He commented softly nodding along to her fathers praise. She was curious however to see that Kin didn't say much other then a small 'yes' and a smile that was followed with a shrug.

Of course out of all of them he understood how she felt about this...and she gave him a real smile, hidden behind sadness and exhausted emotional eyes.

There was a celebration between the community that night, everyone who knew her father seemed to come with gifts and good praise, Saikiko felt herself getting more and more angry with every passing moment someone called her beautiful. Warily she became more and more uncomfortable the more detailed some of the men's descriptions of her became. Trying to be polite for her fathers sake she managed to worm her way through the whole evening. Only until her father went to bed did she steal the scissors from the kitchen drawer and run outside with a lantern.

Frustrating and bubbling anger from the whole day brought her to this and with only the light of the moon and the gas lantern she pulled her hair forward gathering as much of it as possible. Tears gathered in her eyes and with a hiccup she drew the scissors and cut off as much as possible from this position. Swallowing she pulled the long clump of hair forward realizing she should have braided it or something...

She was over come with emotion and even though her feelings where flowing through her like a tsunami, a small part of her still managed the thought that she should have braided it so she could walk down into the city and donate this hair for a kid who really wanted it. Pulling one of the hair tied from her wrist she tied it off as best as she could so he could maybe still do that and went to work cutting any long strands she could feel.

Breathing harshly afterwards scissors laid before her she shook. Her father loved her hair...he often said it reminded him of her mother, and she felt the soul crushing guilt make her hiccup again. Oh no...what had she done. Crying in the dark wasn't the relief she needed and it didn't make her feel any better but the tears came and she curled her legs up to her chest trying to get it all out.

"It looks bad." Chimed a voice behind her and she whipped around bleary eyes trying to pull a figure out of the darkness.

"I-I don't care." She growled running her spare hand through the locks.

"No...here." Kin approached her softly jumping from each stepping stone and finally crouching behind her running a tan hand over the mess of her head she made. "So choppy." He sighed monotone, almost as if he was bored before he leaned forward for the scissors taking them once more to her head.

Saikiko was stunned into silence but he allowed the other to brush her hair into place and cut it, looking at her lap was she obediently turned her head this way and that with his direction.

While the snips in her ear could say everything she spoke anyways. "Why are you doing this." She asked voice horse. The man behind her just hummed with a questioning tone laced between the sound, and by the way the bells twinkled she knew he had shifted to the side as if cocking his head like a confused dog.

"Did you not want your hair short? And all this was just a possession from a silly Yo-Kai who wanted you to live life as a short haired girl?" He teased ruffling out any of the stray hairs that didn't fall to her shoulders already.

Saikiko frowned and rubbed at her nose, itchy from little clippings of hair getting in the way. "I wasn't possessed..." She said with a deep sigh eventually looking back at the other, he took the opportunity to shift his attention to her bangs pulling them up and cutting them. "Where did you learn to cut hair." She mumbled impatiently after a while not wanting to talk about her true feelings.

Kin took the hint to drop the talk about why she wanted short hair and instead shrugged. "I know a lot of things...I am your elder after all." He laughed leaning forward to blow in her face. Saikiko screeched a little and slapped his arm.

"W-Whatever your like...probably 200 years old or something I know your not human." She said with a frown crossing her arms over her chest. Eyes fierce. "I don't know why you are trying to keep it a secret from me I saw you."

Kin rose a thick eyebrow and laughed. "I was never keeping it a secret I know you know! Why did I need to say anything further on the manor if you already knew about me." There must have been shock plastered on her face because Kin laughed and it twinkled softly like wind chimes.

"Your father is a good man but he doesn't need to know okay?" He said softly brushing her hair back once more before deeming it done, pocketing the scissors into his robe and standing. "You look pretty handsome with short hair." He stated with a smile before turning on his heel and trotting back into the temple.

Saikiko was left stunned a deep flush rushing to her cheeks. Was it odd that being called beautiful made her want to puke but handsome had the opposite affect. Embarrassed she swallowed back anymore questions and instead stood up with shaking legs, pulling the lantern back up to the temple porch with her.

In her room she got a good look at the hair cut and found herself blushing even more.

It was perfect.


End file.
